The Black Rabbit

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In an on-line dream dictionary (which is worth whatever you think it’s worth; I don’t believe in those things, but I still look at them), dreaming of a black rabbit means that you want to be intimate with someone but something is holding you back.  In my dream I had two black rabbits lying on a table.  They had huge noses and I was stroking them.

I wonder if I’m holding something back from the new love of my life? I know that I don’t want him to see the unkind, nasty part of me (that all of us have, no matter how much we like to think that we don’t).  Does that translate as fear of intimacy? Or is that just polite behavior among adults?  Who said that really knowing and loving someone means they have to know every last little thing about you, bad and good?

Because I think “really knowing someone” is a myth, a desire for our partner to replace the godlike presence of our parents, taking care of us when we were too young to take care of ourselves.  Our parents fed us before we knew that we were hungry, and put warm clothes on us before we knew that we were cold. We want our partners to know what’s best for us and give it to us, without us having to ask. I find this unrealistic and a recipe for disappointment. I prefer asking for what I want, and letting go of the idea that my partner is supposed to be so far inside my head that we don’t even need to speak in order to know what the other wants.

So I am curious about the black rabbit.  Am I afraid, or just pragmatic?

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