The Ache

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It’s easier when it’s sunny, but this morning he left under a gray, rainy sky.

In the past I’ve driven him down to the main train line, since the one from my village gets him home an hour later. This morning he wanted to leave me sleeping and took my little cog train down to the valley. I think it’s much worse to roll over in bed and find that he is no longer there.

Then I look out the window at the clouds surrounding my village, and think that it will be five long days before I see him again.

There’s no obvious solution to us living so far apart.  I need to learn another language to live closer, and I have a great, secure job where I am. He owns his own company which is based on him knowing everyone around him and having decades of relations with everyone who counts.  So this is it, until retirement.

It’s not impossible, and not so bad, but there’s just this ache when we part. It’s worse when it’s him who leaves. It’s worse when he kindly wants me to rest in bed, because I don’t want to rest in bed without him.

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