Patience

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Why is love so scary ?

The FAB (Far-Away-Boy) says he loves me. I say it back but I’m afraid he’s going to pull the rug out from under me. I don’t want to be stuck loving someone who’s changed his mind, I guess. I want to believe. I want to have faith. I want to let myself go completely, and so I do, I have, but then I wonder if I’m a fool ?

He’s so sure of himself, and so sure of me. He does seem to have me pegged pretty well. And maybe this works between us because neither of us are broken on the idea of relationships in general, which is often what happens after a nasty divorce. But he’s really patient. He said that his ex-wife wanted to be mean about the divorce, and he just waited it out. With time, she found someone else, cared less about hurting him, let the meanness go.

I can learn things from him, I think, not just a whole other language and culture, but also about how to be. He’s apparently been called in to work at as a mediator between farmers and the government. And he just sits and waits it out. He’ll wear down my fears, eventually. Maybe he’ll end up by teaching me patience, too.

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