Mr. Far-Away-Guy is becoming important in my head. I don’t want to screw it up.
I’ve let loose my vertically challenged lover, said, « I don’t think this is what I’m looking for right now » so it’s done. I don’t get the impression that it affected him emotionally too much, so I don’t feel too bad. I hope not.
There is Eric, who I will not take up with again.
There is Mr. Wonderful, who will, I hope, remain a climbing buddy and friend. We’d « dated » (i.e. slept together one weekend). Then he said he felt confused and didn’t want to have sex with me anymore, but we kept climbing together and hanging out. We hung out last week-end and wound up sleeping together again, but I told him about the existence of someone who might become important. So now, I will let him go, too. He’s too confused at the moment anyway for a relationshop, even though at the beginning, I would have tried quite hard to make something work with him. He’s a great guy. Takes two, though.
And my ex-cop. I think I’m ready to let him go. I need to see him again, hopefully next week, and talk to him about it. He’s been blowing me off a bit, though. I don’t know where that’s coming from. Maybe there’s someone in his life, maybe he’s scared that I’m getting too close, maybe he’s scared because he’s getting too close. Dunno. But he’s been important to me, a good friend and a good listener. I would not like to just let it slide away without talking to him.
But I think I can let the Far-Away-Guy into my heart, at least a bit. And the only, and I mean the only, way a long-distance relationship can work is if I am someone who can be trusted. Which means I need to reboot, and become trustworthy again.