This wasn't one of my better days, although there's really no reason for it to be so bad. Maybe not enough sleep, not enough calories, or the hangover of guilt from spending yesterday afternoon with my lover.
Yesterday: on the good side, we had a lovely afternoon together. Hungry sex, then just hungry, a nap, more sex. I got a small birthday gift from him (gift certificate). Not exciting but hide-able, and probably for the best. On the bad side, the conversation was about things he will do without me. And I won't see him for nearly a month while visiting my family.
Today: a girlfriend and I went climbing together. She can be very self-absorbed but was actually quite kind with me today. When it got too hot we quit. I ate. Napped. Feeling a bit better.
I guess it's just mornings that are hard. I'm so sick and tired of feeling bad. There are so many good things in my life. It a process, I know, and it's completely normal to be sad about my mariage ending. But I need the sadness to let up on me some.