Made an appointment with a lawyer Wednesday, when we get back, to talk about the separation. Separation to begin with. To see how it goes. Maybe a divorce. Maybe we just stay like that? Who knows. I sure don’t.
Other appointments in the week:
- to see an apartment I can afford in a place that I would like to live
- to talk to a mortgage specialist, the brother of the ex-cop
- the ex-cop, Wednesday night
I will say that I’m leaving for my hike Wednesday, negotiated with my husband for months. I was supposed to go for a walk for about a week, alone, staying in mountain huts, which my husband hates, and doing quite long hikes every day, which he can’t keep up with. It’s become four days, since he insisted on this holiday together. So I will have to tell a lie to be with the ex-cop, the thing I hate most in the world about myself at this moment. I need, desperately, to get into a situation where I don’t need to lie for sex.
But the holiday has been nice. We’re getting along fine. I’m just wanting sex. A lot. Even guys with hair puffing out of the backs of their t-shirts are starting to look good. Even short guys. I just think, “Hey, he comes right up to my breasts!”, like this is a good thing.