Resisting

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Not texting the ex-cop today.  That’s what most of the day has been about.  I’m not texting him.  Not even once.  I’ve been getting way too attached, way too interested in him.  And he was quite clear that he didn’t want anything serious.

What would work with him, I think, is just time.  No discussion, no pushing anything.  And he’s probably not as great as I think.  But I trust him, that’s the thing.  He’s a good person, straight on, dead honest.

And it’s because I’m on vacation with my husband that I keep thinking about him.  Eleven years younger than my husband and great sex.  And most of the same qualities that I love in my husband, I find in the ex-cop, too.  I like nice guys.  I think nice is sexy.

Today I hurt, most of the day.  It hurts wanting to love someone and not letting it go. It hurt not to text, not to ask for a little friendship.  But I’m almost done with the day now, and I’ll get through.  And tomorrow I can do what I like.

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