My husband really, really, really wanted to keep our vacation plans, even though I’ve told him that as soon as I find an apartment to buy, I’m going to file for a legal separation. The separation is partly because it would be the moment to do that, and also because people can get weird about money during a divorce, and I don’t want to lose my apartment.
So we’ve headed out together and we’re in a place where we’ve stayed before, for two days. Then we move on and eventually we’ve got a vacation rental for a week.
I like my husband. A lot. I wish we were still intimate. I don’t think any of this would have happened, me wanting out, if we were still having sex. He has been rather hard on me the last year or so, needing a lot of attention and giving almost nothing back. But it didn’t matter because, at the time, he still wanted me. I can’t even begin to describe how hard it is to be there in bed with him and not have him react. I’m sexy, for my age. I haven’t gained any weight, and I have yoga muscles that are toned, a beautiful flat stomach, nice small, round breasts. I’m not bad, and certainly not bad enough that I feel like I’m just not attractive anymore. I am. Just not to him.