I’ve negotiated one week out of the house, at least at night. My husband keeps wanting to stick to me, and I can’t think. I’m spending the night in town, in the room I’ve rented. I wish I knew what I was doing. I wish I could think further a few minutes ahead of time. Can’t even manage that very well.
I woke up at 3am, as usual, only this time I was being eaten my mosquitoes. Or maybe a single mosquito that I couldn’t kill. But I didn’t sleep.
I still miss the conversations that I had with the slightly crazy guy. It was so nice to have someone interested in me. I miss that so much. I’ve signed up for an internet site, and just wanted to find someone to talk to. But it isn’t working out like that. I’d like to chat, just talk about stuff. But either it’s the wrong site, or I’m not finding the right people. Dunno. But I feel weird and wrong and I wish I knew what the hell I was doing.
Going to see the couples therapist alone tonight. I hope that it will help, because I don’t know what to do.