Today I’m sad, because I feel so stuck. Here’s what I’ve done: I have a (mostly) nice husband who no longer wants to have sex with me. So I decide to take up with a lover. I find Eric, but I’m afraid of getting attached to him, so I add the ex-cop. One one hand, I feel physically better with a sex life than without. Much better. But mentally I’ve become a liar, a cheater, a bad person. Which makes me feel physically worse.
And then I have this virtual relationship with a guy who seems so appealing, because he seems interested in me. He breaks it off. And I understand how lonely I am, which adds to the conundrum with the husband. Even with a husband I’m lonely.