I found an excuse to spend the night with the ex-cop. I went to see my cousins, who live three hours away. My husband, of course, has never bothered to meet the cousins. Funny how years of inattention can be transcribed into all sorts of ways to find time to cheat on him. I’m not proud. At moments like this, I just wish it was over.
But I had a night out that could be arranged, and I didn’t want Eric. I mean, for one thing we’d have to talk, probably, and I don’t know what we’d talk about.
But if I think about sex, I only think about Eric. It’s hungry sex, full of desire, semi-violent. All that with someone who’s a bit boring and egotistical and that I don’t want to spend time with.
So I spent the night with the ex-cop. And I got want I wanted from him; someone to hold me at night, to caress. to be kind to me, to talk to. And to have sex with.