A rose by any other name

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There are those who allow themselves to be known in the Gleeden world of sex without consequences, and others who won’t.

E won’t.  I’ve just got a first name, and I decided to add “E the Player” in my agenda just to keep things in perspective.  I’m quite honest with him about what I need. I know that we need to share more if I’m going to be able to find pleasure with him.  I don’t know exactly what I need to share, but this disassociated sex is only nice half the time.  Exactly half: two out of four times. So I’ve told him. We need to talk, or something, or it’s not going to work for me.  I mean, not “work”, but like I won’t have an orgasm. And I don’t really know what to talk about since I don’t think I would believe anything he says since he lies every time he expires.  So that’s a bit of a muddle.

He’ll be hard to quit; he really is a drug.  Not a nice drug, but one of those horrible ones that makes your teeth fall out. But he’s not real and doesn’t want to become real. I’m guessing that (in real life) he likes those ball-busting, beautiful, bitchy women who make his life hell. And then he gets pulled around by his nose, and he decides to keep his distance and just have sex.

P.  One of the reasons I like him is that he just threw his life at me.  Name, photos, stories of his kids, what he did for a living (he’s an ex-cop), what he does now.  It was very appealing and in exact contrast to E. It’s attractive. He also doesn’t want anything serious, so I feel free not to take him seriously, either. The sex, the one time, was quite lovely.  But there are screaming orgasms (on his end) and I just couldn’t stop laughing.  (Really?) But we talk more openly, and it’s more fun altogether.

The Doctor.  I got mad at him and told him off Saturday.  I was in his neck of the woods and he couldn’t manage even a coffee with me.  So after daily messages for nearly two months (!) I cut him off for a day.  And I saw that he was back on the site.  So I sent him a note.  I also wanted to exchange names, since he’d rather stupidly gave me his time in a race that posts its results online. It was unfair and unequal, and I didn’t like that. But I have his real name, so I gave him mine.  He can now troll me all he wants. I have more of an online presence than he does, but I can still tell where his office is and what his wife’s name is.  But we now exist in the real world.  He sent me back a note and I get the feeling that he’s a tiny bit attached to me. Not in any real way, like wanting to leave his wife for me (which would just be wrong in all sorts of ways, he has young kids for one), but he’s still attached. It’s kind of cute.

J.  J is the one I have not met, and who I hesitate about.  I’m not sure if I want more stuff in my life.  He also shared his name with me right off.  Funny how much that matters.

Names, games and internet sites.  The funny world we live in.


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